Moms Eulagy

Mom's journey on this world ended in a flash sunday, with the sun touching her body as hero's fought to keep her on earth with angels tugging gently to take her to heaven and on to the next life. They battled bravely but It was not to be as her soul drifted to heaven with the winds carrying her in the arms of angels her time had come.
. She graced the world when she was born in Anaconda, Montana to Mike and Rose Sisich on February 23, 1946. Carol grew up in Anaconda where she also attended high school and met her first husband with whom she would have her two children, Cynthia and Craig. They would grow to be the pride of her life and what she liked to boast about to her friends. She would later remarry and adopt Rob and Sheryl who lit up her life, She was a business woman willing to try any venture, She owned and operated with the help of her son both Grizzly Go Kart and Montana Magic Casino, She would invest in real estate taking pride in giving people a place to live,. She was A world traveler having circled the globe, she drank fine wine in Paris, hiked the Himalaya’s in India, drank margarita’s in Mazatlan, tanned on a beach in Costa Rica, and went on a Safari in Africa. She was also a local traveler where she liked to drive about in her tiny camper enjoying all the grandeur nature could offer and the splendid company of others sharing her dream. Every Morning she would wake up, make her coffee, and go outside to see the birds and smell the flowers, there was no talking to her at this time, for her day was only beginning and her spirits coming together to help guide her through her day. She loved spending time on her friends ranch in Kalispell, where it reminded her of the ranch of her Uncle farmer Bean. She would tell stories of riding the horses and helping with the cattle, of the green grass under the horses hooves and the soft clammer they would make, she would talk with a smile and a soft voice and remember the home cooking at the end of the day and all the laughs as they gathered to feast. She somehow managed to divide her time between everyone easily being the busiest person I knew. She seemed to teleport from place to place as she travled about, here one day, there the next. Her friends commented how she never was far away, as no matter what she would call and with her happy whimsical voice tell them about her day as if they were right there with her, sharing her adventure. She saw the world in a different light on every level, she would do things her way and seemed confused when nobody else could understand what she was doing. She had told Cynthia not so long ago that she would like to buy a bluebird house, Cynthia replied but Mom we do not have bluebirds in vegas, mom’s reply was simply “we will hang a home high in a tree and they will come” but mom my sister replied with a little frustration “I do not have a tall tree in my yard’ Oh that is not a problem if you hang it in the neighbors tree I can see it out the window as I sip my tea”
　
　
Mom has been following a spiritual path for a long time and really searching for the correct path. Reading one of her Emails which I previously thought was just some forwarded spam, I learned that she had wanted to go and teach a spiritual way. Pretty cool, Now with that suddenly came the realization of the selflessness she had done and I simply had overlooked. When Dad and Jeff were both sick she flew to Brazil to see a Faith Healer, I thought it was for her, and a little for them, but as I put more thought into her letter, I now realize it was all about them. Strange journey or not, her devotion and willingness to travel to a foreign country simply to help heal others is about as selfless as it gets. When her Father had fell sick she stayed constantly by his side holding his hand until he passed on, bringing a smile to grandpa as his spirit left his body. She would step up again when Dad was sick before I could bring him home she came and helped me make my home cozy for him, she would stop in from time to time going out of her way driving the four hours from Kalispell just to cook us a meal and make sure all was cared for. She would again change her life and go and help Cynthia care for her husband with no complaints, splitting her time between us, but upon my urging giving more to Cynthia, after Jeff left this world she simply moved in to help give her comfort, support and help out anywhere she would be needed, her last selfless act would be to be an organ donor where she could go on to help up to 50 people with her generosity. Surely she is granted a wonderful next life and a strong place in heaven looking over us all.
Her smile was captivating, her laugh contagious, and her zest for life insatiable.
Our doors are open and here we all sit waiting for her to come in, we all know she is still traveling, going here and there, touching those who need to be touched and giving them the hope she gave us all.

Will miss you mom, will never forget your smile and how happy you always were, thank you for the time you spent with us here, we are all better people because of it, this is your Road Mom, travel well.
　The soul is never born, nor does it die at any time, nor having once come to be will it again cease to be. The soul is, in truth, unborn, eternal, permanent and spiritual. – Bhagavad Gita 2:20　My sister sits here having lost her mother and best friend reading through moms books but unable to stand as her legs are week and her eyes swelled in order to read this, she has been a rock through all we have been through, and I will try to be her rock to read this one last thing for the grace of Mom’s ever lasting love of her daughter. I will light the match of smiles, my gloom veil will disappear. I shall behold my soul in the light of my smiles hidden behind the accumulated darkness of the ages. When I find myself I shall race through all hearts with the torch of my soul-smiles. My heart will smile first, then my eyes and my face. Every body-part will sihine in the light of smiles. I will run amid the thickets of melancholy hearts and make a bonfire of all sorrows. I am irresistible fire of smiles. I will fan myself with the breeze of god joy and blasé my way through the darkness of all minds. My smiles will convey his smiles and whoever meets me will catch a whiff of my divine joy. I will carry fragrant purifying torches of smiles for all hearts.

The Importance of a hug

There are many things that are really hard to deal with during a tragedy but the hardest part is the unknown.
When Dad had went into a coma the unknown simply started getting to me, I went from strong, standing over him, giving words of encouragement to simply breaking down. I stood in the hallway of the hospital walking somewhat aimlessly looking for some sort of guidance, something, anything. I had been on the phone and tears were starting to roll down my cheeks as all the emotions that come along with the unknown began to release out of me like water slowly pushing through a breaking dam.
And then she came, beautiful golden curly hair falling on her shoulders a woman I had never seen simply walked up looked into my eyes and asked if I needed a hug, IM not sure if I said anything but I know that
I really did not need to. She hugged me tight, the kind of a hug when you actually get to feel the warmth coming off a person, when its almost like your spirits touch simply said it will be alright and left.
That simple hug really meant something to me and as if she had given me some of her energy, I was able to gather myself once again and head off to slay the problems that plagued dad.
So if you see someone whom you think could use a hug, just give it who knows, with that little act you may change destiny

Moms Spiritual Path

Mom has been following a spiritual path for a long time and really searching for the correct path. Reading one of her Emails tonight which I previously thought was just some forwarded spam, I learned that she had wanted to go and teach a spiritual way. Pretty cool, Now with that suddenly came the realization of the selflessness she had done and I simply had overlooked. When Dad and Jeff were both sick she flew to Brazil to see a Faith Healer, I thought it was for her, and a little for them, but as I put more thought into her letter, I now realize it was all about them. Strange journey or not, her devotion and willingness to travel to a foriegn country simply to help heal others is about as selfless as it gets, surely she is granted a wonderful next life and a strong place in heaven looking over us all.

Losing Mom

I was out riding when I received the call, actually missed the call from her phone, I always try to answer my phone but it of course was buried in my pack, I called back and a woman answered asking if I knew who's number this was then told me what had happened. God your mind races, I told my friends and we bolted, our legs pumped hard, with my mind racing I knew I could not give up I had to get to mom, I muttered prayers to the heavens as our legs burned, the trail was blurred from my tears and never seemed to end, with each hill feeling like the last. I swear I saw her smiling drifting above us, her hand pushing us along, I forced it from my mind and tried to think positive "hang in there I'm on my way" I muttered.
At the parking area I jumped off my bike leaving its wheels spinning on the ground and raced off, the Buicks tires squealed in protest as I screamed down the pass. Calls to emergency personal were to no avail and nobody seemed to know anything. I sped on with flashers going honking the horn for people to move, some of which did, their eyes wide with wonder, others seemed oblivious to the world around them, or maybe felt their own quest to go no where no where was far more important. I kept calling her phone but nobody would answer, then the gas light came on, no no I didnt have time for this, unreal.
I stopped at a small gas station and threw them a handful of money as I frantically pumped just enough fuel to carry on. It would not be much further, I pulled out on the interstate and not a mile later I saw the fire trucks and police cars, their cherries an ominous warning. I pulled up not knowing what to expect but only looking for an answer, I rolled down my window and and told the two firemen who I was, they looked away their eyes telling all. I jammed the car into park and leaped out anyhow, like somehow someone would tell me something their eyes had already betrayed but that I wanted to hear different. A policeman approached and my dry mouth asked if she made it, he looked down and then I truly knew I had not been fast enough, that there was nothing I could have done, I sank to the ground as I whaled in protest to the heavens.
I sit now still waiting for her to walk through the door but I know she will not come, but my mind plays tricks as I see her on the couch laughing to some silly movie with her tears of joy streaming down her face. But its not to be, and the couch sits empty, instead I am greeted by my dads dog who stands staring, ears up, hoping he can understand my words, tail wagging slightly as his eyes stare into my soul. The cat brushes against my leg, giving his comfort as only a feline can.
It all happened so fast, the calls to loved ones, the knock on doors of her aunts to give them the tragic news I sit here spinning still. I think of the past and the future that I no longer will share with her.
Today will be more calls, more tears and papers to sign, her personal belongings to be retrieved and the house readied for guests. I will ride later on as nature is where I go to clear my head, to feel the spirits and to receive their message, Sanity will come then.